what happened here

how to recover from getting the fucking carpet pulled out from under you

Step 1.
Be in Seattle in the summertime.

Step 2.
Have amazing friends.

Step 3.
Buy something way cute to wear.

Step 4.
Go on a week-long social bender that includes boozing on multiple bar patios, attending a burlesque show, hanging out on the grass in city parks under sunny blue skies, playing leap frog in the streets, singing I'm On a Boat in the streets (while dancing), playing bingo (while dancing), singing karaoke while eating cake (while dancing), getting drunk on a Sunday evening and playing Jenga at a bar (...while dancing). So pretty much, boozing and dancing and chilling with wonderful lady friends who you are in love with and would totally bone if only you were a lesbian.

Step 5.
Resolve to be done with "crazy", and move onto "stable".

Step 6.
Buy a car.

Step 7.
Throw a fucking party.

quotable(/motorboatable)

"If I had big boobs, I would shake them."

"A fart is a turd honking for the right-of-way."

"I stun them with my personality gun (pew! pew-pew!)."

"Have the balls to have the boundaries."

"Don't you mix your crazy with my crazy."

"I put the F-U in 'fun'."

champion

Two Bingo nights in a row at The Chapel, and I've walked away with:
- two free drink cards,
- a 32-oz beer stein that was once filled with margarita, and
- a trophy of a woman with my name on it, kicking a soccer/very large bingo ball.

I don't like to brag, but it would appear that I am very good at this game.

i take it back

Despite drizzles and an eerie 4th of July chilliness (which I've never before experienced), I would have to revise my previously announced perfect weekend and say that this one beat it by a long shot. There was a candle-lit, seriously delicious evening of Serious Pie with a favorite couple, and there was brunching and coffeeing, bocce ball in the sun and happy hour with friends old and new. There was karaoke in a bar made for such an activity, and subsequently, singing in the streets, creating an experience I've always wanted to witness, if not be apart of: a real-life scene that could have been taken straight out of a musical. Or filmed and put into one.

I was walking with some friends just after last call, singing with one of them songs from the Grease soundtrack. Said friend set the stage with all the necessary showtunes theatrics (jumping onto the trunk of a car, dancing through the crowded corners of Pine street in Capitol Hill, all while singing "You're the One That I Want" and "Summer Lovin'" along with me). Hoards of drunken people were gathered outside of a pizza place, hanging out in that time of night between the last drink and your (or someone else's) bed, when the excitement from the night is mellowing, and the effects of alcohol bring strangers together in a friendly, noisy atmosphere filled with potential energy. Many were humming along with the tune as we passed by singing. But the scene was complete when a chubby, grubby, long-haired, grunged-out sausage vendor sang every word along with us as we passed, pointing to us and rocking out with the gusto of a chorus member from a Broadway play.

It was, in a word, fabulous.

Then top it off with two delicious barbecues, a glorious fireworks display seen from a crowded rooftop, and the feeling of loving life, and being loved in return. Even though I had to work today, and am feeling sluggish from the emotionally taxing/satisfying weekend, I say hell yes. What a weekend.

hi there, summer. i've been waiting for you.

I love Texas, don't get me wrong. The hospitality, the thunderstorms, the national beer. But it's hard to miss Austin and not adore the great state of Washington at times like these. Sure, summer took a while to get here, and I'm still getting used to wearing cardigans on cool June evenings (sweaters!! in the summertime! that shit's crazy!!!). But while my Texan friends and folks are sweating their tails off in 90-degree weather over the next couple of weeks, I'm enjoying some partly-cloudy, partly-sunny, temperate 60-to-70-something degree loveliness. And, along with it...

a gay pride parade

a block party

some rooftop BBQ's (wherein crowds can enjoy the sun instead of melting under it)

many hikes both in and out of the city

movies in parks

...and, I expect, so much more. And, what's this? It's JULY already! Oh, my. I must have been having fun lately.

monday night summary

[Lauri returns from work.]
Gail: I'm not wearing any pants!
Lauri: Where do you want to eat?
G: I'm planning my first tattoo!
L: Let's get food!
G: Oh shit, I lost my barnacle!
L: I'm so excited to get another tattoo with you! (When are we eating?)
G: I'm so nervous! What if the tattoo artist is mean to me?
L: Then I will punch him for you.
G: OMG, I love this backpack!
[They meet with Emily.]
G: Um, are you sure you can have a drink before getting a tattoo? [x7]
[One drink later:]
G: Shit, the tattoo place is closed.
L: Let's leave and get ice cream.
[Two blocks away:]
G: Oh no, where's my barnacle? I left it by the tattoo place!
L: Where's Emily's digital camera? [Gail smiles sheepishly.]
[Two scoops of salted caramel ice cream, and nine drinks later:]
Gail/Emily/Lauri: What's up with boys? They're stupid.
[Nine more drinks later, everyone heads home.]
L: I know it's already almost 3am, but we should put on Boyz II Men and sing along.
G: Great idea!
[They sing, then pass out.]

[scene]

good save

I purposely did not write anything about my Memorial Day weekend, due to the overall shittiness of the whole thing. May was mostly excellent, but I give its ending two big fat thumbs (way) down.

However, I can safely talk about life again, because of the incredibly amazing awesomeness that this past weekend has brought. I have friends visiting me from Chicago who in and of themselves make me happy. Compound their presence with a wildly entertaining karaoke session, a delightfully sunny day, a charming night of jazz bands, (slightly) drunken Scrabble, and speakeasies, and then a day spent in nature with friends: a hike on the Olympic peninsula, ending with a picnic in a big old steamy hot spring. I can't express how wonderful it is to live in the Pacific Northwest. The raw beauty is really more impressive than I could even try and articulate. The weekend thus ended rendering me a very exhausted and happy girl.

So if I thought May was going to be a magnificent month, I'm almost scared for how great June will be. With a beginning like this, there's no telling. Summer is here. Excellence continues. (And we'll just forget about that little blip on Memorial Day.)

finally

Thanks to one of these, some of these, and a kitty who managed to stay quiet throughout the morning, I was able to get 9 hours of sleep for the first time in months.

So, summertime morning light in Seattle, with your obnoxious eagerness to show your face before 6 am, you are no longer a threat to me. Hah (and, strrrrreeetchh)!

lessons

This song taught me something about my life, which songs are wont to do sometimes. Incidentally, it should be titled "May".

And just for kicks, go on and appreciate these next two gems. (Go on, I say.)

rescued

exploding chest cavity + bad hair/face/confidence day + twisted up insides + horrendous to-do list at work = miserable Monday

...and the above plus....

lovely friends named Ann and Abby and Dad + a big ol' bowl of Russo marinara sauce (accompanied by a large glass o' wine) + gloriously hot bath PLUS the promise of a Broken Bells show tomorrow

... all equals ...

potential heart attack averted, and I just may heart life again. (or at least not be cursing at it. for the time being.)

implode, explode

I really love the She & Him station on pandora these days.

chuckling

Thanks, Boyz II Men, for making my day.

Throw your clothes on the floor
I'm gonna take my clothes off too

...they just don't make love songs like they used to.