how to recover from getting the fucking carpet pulled out from under you

Step 1.
Be in Seattle in the summertime.

Step 2.
Have amazing friends.

Step 3.
Buy something way cute to wear.

Step 4.
Go on a week-long social bender that includes boozing on multiple bar patios, attending a burlesque show, hanging out on the grass in city parks under sunny blue skies, playing leap frog in the streets, singing I'm On a Boat in the streets (while dancing), playing bingo (while dancing), singing karaoke while eating cake (while dancing), getting drunk on a Sunday evening and playing Jenga at a bar (...while dancing). So pretty much, boozing and dancing and chilling with wonderful lady friends who you are in love with and would totally bone if only you were a lesbian.

Step 5.
Resolve to be done with "crazy", and move onto "stable".

Step 6.
Buy a car.

Step 7.
Throw a fucking party.