(Disclaimer: Though I probably totally deserved the following events, and they probably make me a horrible person, it doesn't make them any less hilarious.)
Saturday afternoon, I was walking downtown with my friend Lisa, trying to get to the intersection before the crowd of people coming from my right blocked us off from it. I noticed an old (blind? homeless?) woman coming, and thinking she'd be slow, rushed a bit to cross her path and clear the crowd. She was apparently faster than I gave her credit for, and not even looking up once, she came barreling into me, then - to my horror - began to lose her balance. I felt terrible for cutting her off, and was horrified that she was about to fall due to my impatient scampering. So I grabbed her forearm to help her out, while repeating, "I'm so sorry!"
She didn't fall. (Whew.) But she DID scream, "Leave me alone!" while jerking her arm away, then she grabbed her cane with both hands (as one would a baseball bat) and proceeded to beat my leg with it. Not really knowing what was happening, I realized her hat had flown off in the process, and she was hobbling away without it, still berating me: "Goddamn you!" I said, "Um, excuse me, I have your hat!" and I went over to put it back on her head. She paused and brought her head down to receive it. Then she wandered off into the Seattle streets, with her eyes still aimed toward the ground and her hair in her face, still not looking where she was going (because she was blind?? or had some other problems? I will never know!). I wasn't sure if I should feel bad for being in her way, or indignant for sustaining an assault (however feeble). But instead, I started choking back laughter, when Lisa and I realized what had just happened:
I got caned by an old woman.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment