christmas came and went, and i didn't even go crazy

For a holiday trip in Texas that was so saturated with family (starring parents who normally drive you slightly or severely insane, depending on the day and the level of the two of them bickering and/or interrupting your stories), the last 4.5 days were quite alright. It was probably the first time since high school that I spent so many days back-to-back as a homebody in the 'burbs, just chilling with the folks. And to my surprise, I didn't once lose patience with my mom for not hearing what in the world I was saying for the seventh time, or with my dad for taking 11 minutes to gather his things and leave a parked car to head inside wherever it was we were going. It's nice to step outside your regular 'impatient child' role in the family and as an outsider looking in, laugh at the hilarity that is your adorably aging parents, however slow/deaf/absent-minded they may be. Of course, a trip that begins and ends with top-notch Texican food can't be all bad.

Despite the relaxing family-bonding weekend, it is very nice to come home to a city you love and a purring kitty who loves you and a clean abode, and to sleep on a mattress that's not nestled on the floor between a Christmas tree and a Foosball table. Being an adult is great, and maybe more so when those awesome adulthood perks are so closely juxtaposed to memories of a control-free childhood existence, however pleasant they were.

mexican food-bound

In a little more than 12 hours, I'll be rolling into the tee-ex for the holidays. I just hope my parents have figured out that my request for breakfast tacos after my red-eye flight automatically includes "with a side of Lone Star."

Actually, scratch that... I just got off the phone with my dad. Not only is he greeting me at the airport with said tacos in hand, but asked if 11am would be too early for a drink.

Thank you, Paul Webb. You may be the only man in the world who will ever truly understand me.

recipe for a successful birthday

- sunrise over the cascades on the morning commute

- a sunny day in the Pacific Northwest!

- birthday lunch at work, complete with gift exchange and a decadent cake

- a multitude of well wishes from loved ones near and far

- friends gathered together + mulled wine + another aMAZing homemade cake

- dancing and photo-boothing at my new favorite place

Mix together. Simmer for a while. Sleep it off.

...or, the short version:

cake + dancing = birthday win

and then things got very complicated

I can't decide whether it's funny or tragic, that every time I feel like I'm growing as a person, becoming more of an adult, and more certain about what I want out of life, the indecisive, fickle version of my subconscious comes exploding through the door, reminding me why I'm not certain about anything, nothing at all.

It starts with an unexpected new option, a loophole from the path you thought you were becoming sure about that pops up, at first just uninvasively dancing in your peripheral vision. No pressure. Just showing itself as a possibility.

But that harmless little introduction can cause a shift in you somewhere, a seed that gets planted and with a little tweak and a little time can establish a pretty solid root system in your brain that seems impossible to shake. Your perception is thus transformed, old questions return to their place in your impossibly overanalytical head, and you realize you don't know anything anymore. Even when you thought you were figuring your life out? Oh yes, especially then.

I need to clear my head, take a break from life, and stop thinking so much. And move to a land where existential crises are easily solved. With cookies and punch. And maybe even balloon animals.