'thank you' i.e. 'F U'

To the cop who gave me a speeding ticket on the way to work this morning:

How is it that I stood out in the midst of all the cars surrounding me who were going the exact same speed? What was it about my shitty '96 Camry with a dented front fender that made you think I could afford a traffic violation, when the shiny silver BMW 3-series in front of me sped off immediately after you flagged me down? Do you enjoy crushing the souls of the financially downtrodden, and making a living from it?

My cat just got a $600 tooth pulled. My car just had to have $250 worth of repairs. I am in so much credit card debt that it sometimes makes me hyperventilate. And yet, I was the lucky one who attracted your attention when you were searching for a sucker to pay a fine. Was I supposed to thank you when you told me you knocked down the initial penalty from $175 to $93? Do you understand that I have less than that amount to buy my gasoline and groceries with for the next two weeks preceding payday? And - I ask again - did you not realize that every. other. fucking. car on the highway. was ALSO going 70-something in a 60, and I was not a rebel in this scenario? Fuck this. Fuck you. Your mother is a slut, your baby is an uggo, and your penis is tiny.

[...breathing...]

Though, perhaps I've been getting a bit too rushed these days when I'm on the road. "Going with the flow of traffic" is a slippery slope, really. Because once the car in front of me slows down and I see others flying past, I get the urge to weave in and out of traffic until I'm cruising with the speedsters. Until I want to pass them up, too... just so I get ahead, and win, I guess, in some bizarre sense.

I hate to admit it to you, asshole policeman, that it was rather nice remembering to slow down on the afternoon commute (lest I get another $93 slap in the face from a chickenshit colleague of yours). It was a beautiful sunset behind the Olympics that I was able to peacefully witness, and a rather lovely spring soundtrack that my iPod shuffle was adding to the scenery. It's nice to let others pass you sometimes, and to let go of the tense-shouldered, speeding-to-win mentality that's seemed to take hold of me as of late.

I still wish the lesson didn't cost me the rest of my bank account (read: your mom's still totally a slut).