mmm... food babies.

After being given the opportunity to participate in a month-long detox program, with all necessary supplements provided free of charge by my boss, I was initially excited to take on the challenge. Like most things, I loved the idea of it, but when the start-date was fast approaching, I began having second thoughts. I became skeptical, then apprehensive, then I very nearly changed my mind. A whole month without alcohol, or coffee with cream? No wheat AT ALL (which means pretty much no eating anything anywhere except my home, where I normally don't eat but a few meals per week)?! I became downright pissy about the prospect of starting this thing, till I told myself to buck up and get it done, already. I've spent the last one, maybe two months eating a lot of crap, completely falling off the fitness wagon, and over-indulging on the weekends (and after most major meals). I really need this.

Still, I am by nature a consumer of food. I wish I could make a living on it, as it's What I Do. Really, what I spend most of my money on. I love it. The variety, the textures and tastes. If food could be my boyfriend, I'd be happily married by now, and would have many delicious babies with names like Fried Fennel and Flourless Chocolate Torte and Chutney. (The children would each only live a few hours at a time, but handsome, sexy Food and I would constantly be making more.) The social activity of eating out is one of my favorite things to do, ever. So, given the thought of an entire 30 days without so many of the things I love? It had my taste buds and tummy saying: 'Fuuuuck... I dunno know about this.'

And so, in an effort to go out with a bang, and indulge as much as I could before this crazy thing started, I spent two nights in a row, two weekends in a row, staying out past 4am, and eating and drinking all the deliciousness I could get my hands on and mouth around. (The perverted connotation of the last phrase was unintended, but noted.) I wasn't stuffing myself, but lately I have been very liberal with what I've been enjoying, in terms of how healthy the item was or was not (mostly was not). Sweet potato fries. Chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. Lamb burgers. Stuff that I probably wouldn't eat under normal circumstances, but felt like I had to because I wouldn't have the chance the following week or four. It's been gustatory debauchery, to the max. And now?

I feel like a lethargic lardo who wants nothing more than to live on crunchy vegetables and pure H2o, for a year. I have no motivation to touch a drop of alcohol any time soon. I am freaking thrilled to soon be cleansing myself of all the toxins I've dumped into my system as of late. So... all the toxing-up I've been doing the last couple of weekends, all the filling up on a bunch of "lasts" (oh no! my last grilled cheese for a month! ... good god! last cafe nico! ... uggghhhh, my last cocktail for a whole 4 weeks, best have another one, so it'll tide me over!), was all it took to get my ass in gear and actually WANT to restrict my diet, if only temporarily.

I'm pretty stoked about the future outcomes. I'll obviously be giving my liver a much-needed break. I'm sure I'll have more energy, and maybe even shed a little of the 'round-the-middle-pudge I've been collecting recently. And if I'm real lucky, maybe this'll fix my breaking car and solve my money problems as well. (Well, they said this program could change your life... I'm just optimistically extrapolating.)